Jim Varagona

>Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t be starting things off that way, but it reels you in…right? I especially should watch what I say since I work in Home Depot stores, but not for them. Confusing, eh? Good.

Anyway, a man is suing the store for ignoring his cries for help because he was glued to a toilet seat in their restroom. Personally, I wouldn’t answer him either. Chances are if someone is making noises in a restroom, you want to stay clear for various reasons. I’d be afraid of the stench. I mean who would expect to find a guy stuck to the seat?! Now when someone is gone for a long time in the john at the Depot, people won’t say, “He/she must’ve fallen in.” It will now be, “He/she must’ve gotten glued to the seat.”

It is frightening really, kind of like how I am still afraid of a woman cutting my penis off because of Lorena Bobbitt. The horror! Even if you aren’t scared of being glued to the seat, you should still beware of the Home Depot facilities. Those contractors really stink up the joint, plus they don’t wash their hands after they complete their mission. In addition to that, Home Depot doesn’t understand proper ventilation, so in every men’s john, there is a big fan to circulate that wonderful “crap humidity” and odor. I wonder if you can catch something from all of that nastiness in the air.

Home Depot–you can get glued to our toilet seats and catch the bird flu in our restrooms–and we can help.

>I don’t care what ‘they’ say. Sure, the acting is piss poor at times. Sure, the story lines could have been better. You still have to give George Lucas credit for creating this different world that we see in the Star Wars franchise. It wasn’t entirely unique, since the Sith in Episode III, which was released today on DVD, was loosely based off of the current administration in Washington, D.C., at least some may say.

For two hours though, I still have a good time during a viewing of any Star Wars film, even the prequel trilogy. This final installment has more laughs in it than any of the others. It is Lucas going out with a bang. So thanks George.

[I do think he should at least write a third trilogy though, which was rumored to be in the plans way back when. He could hand the reigns off to more contemporary filmmakers and screenwriters to improve it. Could you imagine Peter Jackson or Kevin Smith (two big fans) getting their hands on this franchise?]

The other big debut of sorts for the week for me was the relaunch of a World Wide Magazine tribute site (Note: link removed due to site removal as of 12/18). To those not familiar, World Wide Magazine was a public access television program which ran for 15 years in St. Louis. It was about whatever its creator, Pete Parisi, wanted it to be about. The show was known for its odd cast of characters, like Star Wars, that people loved and hated, like Vince and Marty, the Mad Russian (whom I have a page set aside for), “the songbird” Vanessa, Black Jesus, the Feeney bros., and many more. It was part skit show, part reality TV, part talk show…well, like I said, whatever Pete wanted to do at the time. It is a good representation of St. Louis though–quirky, funny, sometimes boring, full of hoosiers, and yet fascinating.

Sadly enough, Pete died in 2002 from complications due to his Diabetes, but there is more to it. It turns into an E! True Hollywood Story type of deal (click here for back story). The whole thing motivated me to make a documentary on Pete and his show, which I entitled simply, “P.E.P.” Not many have seen it, but maybe one day I will make it more widely available for all of the cult fans (or maybe you could email me for a copy). Then maybe everyone will become a fan. Check out all the sites…it’s a trip.

Rest in peace P.E.P.

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diabetoboycom-20&o=1&p=12&l=st1&mode=dvd&search=star%20wars&fc1=&=1&lc1=&lt1=&bg1=&f=ifr

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>Hope everyone is having or did have a splendid Halloween. Diabetics are either jealous of you or making themselves horribly ill trying to act ‘normal.’ The latter is much more exciting.

I remember my first Diabetic Halloween was only 2 weeks after I was diagnosed. My mother went around before I went out and gave each neighbor a pack of microwave popcorn and a can of Diet Sprite. Once I caught on, I was disappointed. My life would never be the same. Nevertheless, I ate lots of candy today. It’s better trying to keep up with the effects of that compared to the diarrhea that excessive consumption of sugar-free products can give you. Happy Halloween indeed.

I worked on my Yoda jack-o-lantern for hours. Shannon made that spiffy ghost to the left. This year, I am saving more anticipation for tomorrow…the release of Star Wars III on DVD.

Enjoy it you will.

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>

Thank you Laura for your candor.

And in other colon related news…buy your friends and family Colondars for the holidays, which feature colon cancer survivors tastefully showing skin and their operative scars. Proceeds benefit the Colon Club, which has an interesting link to the Colossal Colon. One of my dreams is to wiggle my way through a colon. It now may happen someday…

photo illustration of myself about to enter the Colossal Colon

>Read the story for the background. Apparently someone on Bush’s staff lied. I find this surprising and appalling. I hope they learn something from this…

Never, ever, trust a guy named “Scooter.”

>Comment received today, in regards to last post regarding death milestones in Iraq:

“As the Deuce Four heads home this week, they leave behind a Mosul that, while not yet in the clear, is much closer to security and prosperity than anyone would have considered possible eight months ago. In between the daily secret reports Kurilla has brought to his hospital room so he can track his battalion, the Commander watches television news, increasingly frustrated by what he sees as a clear, and inaccurate, negative bias. When you get the news back here in the states, it’s all doom and body counts. I only wish the American public could see the incredible progress that is being made every day in Iraq, particularly in places like Mosul.”

–posted by Someone Who Actuallly Knows the Truth, Dude, and doesnt wear headbands

I appreciate the comments. I really do, especially the unsigned, anonymous, and clever pseudonyms that refer to me as “Dude.” It is a great name that I am proud to share with one Jeffrey Lebowski. I am sure there is progress in Iraq. That is so cool, man. I don’t give a shit about progress, because we aren’t supposed to be there in the first place, and none of those kids should have died for this cause, which has gone through so many different descriptions. First, they were a threat to us because of ties to Al-Qaeda. That didn’t pan out, so then they were a threat to us with their massive arsenal of “weapons of mass destruction.” Yeah, well we never found those, so then we were there to free and liberate the Iraqis, and give them what they always wanted–democracy. Even on Fox News, I don’t see them thanking us much, but the point is we were there to combat 9/11, and we were given many excuses and pieces of false information to get us to go along with this whole mess. Now who really supports this bullshit?

The Pew Research Center has found that half of the country agree that using force in Iraq was the wrong decision.

When asked “In the long run, do you think the war in Iraq has increased the chances of terrorist attacks in the U.S., lessened the chances, or has it made no difference?,” 41% said it had increased chances, while only 25% said it had lessened.

Now, these facts and opinions mean nothing to you, my anonymous detractor, because you like to focus on the good we are doing for the people. Yes, I know. I’ve heard it over and over like a programmed cult, “freedom and liberty.” Why the Iraqis? Sure they suffered under Saddam, but what about the people in Sudan and Rwanda? Are they not being oppressed by their rulers?

And tell me, where have you gone Osama Bin Laden?

“Remember me?”

I suppose that is just my negative bias talking, and my headband.

>Yesterday marked 2,000 deaths of American soldiers. See their faces here. I’m sure glad we are bringing freedom and liberty to the people of Iraq. I hope they don’t mind the 26,732 civilian casualties (to date) they’ve had to endure to get to this point. Oh well…I guess that’s the price you pay for democracy. And that is what they want, right? At least we are keeping the Iraqis from unleashing their WMDs against us…oh wait.

I personally am waiting for the day our dead in Iraq equals our 2,986 that died on 9/11. We are really showing it to those Arabs. We already killed 9 times that of their people. We’ll show them. Or maybe we’ll just piss them off into an endless cycle or terrorism and Jihad.

What am I saying? This war ended on May 1, 2003.

And since that wonderful occassion, 1864 of our soldiers have been killed. Sounds a little backwards, but what do I know about combat or the price of freedom?

Keep this in mind…one Bush did foresee this all happening…

“Extending the war into Iraq would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting in anger and other allies pulling out as well. Exceeding the U.N.’s mandate would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land.”
— From “Why We Didn’t Remove Saddam” by George Bush [Sr.] and Brent Scowcroft, Time Magazine, 1998

So here’s to 2000 more and many more years of the endless war on terror. Cheers!

>I figured from time to time, I should give some Diabeto-related information. I did come across this article recently on a man’s “amazing transformation” from a lard ass to a phat stud. It seems like a nice, inspiring load of crap. He does discuss how he feared getting Diabetes from a family history and just being massive. That leads to a link to The Diabetes Detox diet, which seems a lot like the Atkins diet. Carbohydrates are your enemy! Yet the last time I looked into it, it is suggested that 70% of our diets be carbs. This suggests you effectively eliminate carbs for life. I’d rather shed years off my life.

That page links to another page which lists pertinent Diabetes info. plus vitamins and supplements to make things a tad easier. I’ll go for that. As long as I can still eat my pasta.

>I received a notable comment to a posting last Sunday. The comment was regarding my posting on October 3rd about Wegener’s Granulomatosis, a horrible disease, that took my 14 year old brother’s life.

“Yeah, thanks for sharing. I just got out of the hospital a little over a week ago. They aren’t 100% what form of ANCA Vasculitis I have, but they think it may be Wegener’s. My kidneys seem to be okay, but my lungs were filling with blood and I couldn’t breathe for a while without being on pure oxygen. Things seem to be going okay now. Only time will tell. Thanks again.”

–Kim

It felt good to get to somebody. I feel bad that she had to read a worst case scenario, but I am glad that someone that is suffering from this at a young age like my brother (Kim is 21) is surviving. Her blog covering her survival is at http://faithofanemptyhand.blogspot.com. It’s nice, but sad, to hear of someone else’s personalized story. At least it is one of hope.

>According to Schlafly’s web site, Oct. 26 will mark the return of their Coffee Stout. I ate that shit up last year, but it wasn’t shit, and I drank it. I know, I know…St. Louis is Budweiser country. The hell with that. I want beer that tastes like real beer, or in this case, coffee. I wonder if there’s enough coffee in there to balance out the depressive part of beer. Actually I don’t get depressed when I drink beer, but I do eat wet wipes and dog bones.

Do try the Schlafly Coffee Stout though. It tastes like cold coffee with a heavy fizz. Who can’t pass that up?! It should hit St Louis area stores shortly after that date. If not, run to their Bottleworks site in Maplehood, MO and demand it.