>Let the Folks In Jesusland Know: Jesus Walked On Ice, Not Water

by jvaragona

>I have spoken of my journey into Jesusland, where folks believe in drinking blood to get drunk and eating flesh as a tribute to their faith. But seriously, the crew at Disinfo.com find some great stuff. Today they link to a LiveScience article that suggests Jesus may have actually walked on crystal clear ice patches and not water as previously assumed. I knew this would eventually happen. The whole Jesus thing is unraveling now, just like Santa Claus did when I was a kid. Next thing we’ll find out is that George W. Bush is the antichrist that Nostradamus predicted in the Black Scrolls.

…Or maybe he is.

Some more questions before I go…

  • If Adam and Eve were real, does that mean we are all inbred? If they weren’t real, what’s the true story behind it all?
  • Why do men leave boogers behind above urinals? Is this the freedom that God intended to give us?
  • If God gave America democracy, what made us so special? Was it Jerry Lewis? He won the French over.
  • Why don’t parents enact their free will when their little boys tug at themselves? If I had a son that did that, I’d tie his hands up. It would be embarassing to me, yet I see it a lot, and the parents let it happen. Don’t they know that’s how serial rapists are born.

Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you. (I used to watch that movie backwards.)