>Kevin Smith, the Indian Call Center Worker, Not the Director

by jvaragona

>I’ve been getting swamped with financial companies wanting to help me with debt and school loans. We don’t have caller ID and do not plan on it anytime soon. In the meantime, I’ve had to come up with some creative ways to get rid of the bastards.

A couple of days ago, I received a call about my school loans from a fellow that sounded like Fisher Stevens in the Short Cicuit movies (see video clip example below).

The following is a transcript to the best of my memory:

DIABETOBOY: Hello….Hello.

FISHER STEVENS TYPE: Hello. Is this James?

D: Yes it is.

FST: Yes sir, my name is Kevin Smith, and I am calling you on behalf of [unintelligible] in regards to your student loans.

D: Wait a second. You’re Kevin Smith.

Kevin Smith, Auteur!

KEVIN SMITH!: Sir. I am calling about your student loans and we would like to help you…

D: Man, I saw Clerks II the day it came out. You make some good films man. What got you doing this?

KS: Sir, we would like to help you with your student loans.

D: So, why are you doing this though. I’m sure you’re making money from the movies still. You are still making movies, right?

KS: Yes sir. I like movies–

D: No, are you still making them? Because I like your movies.

KS: Sir–

D: Man, Kevin Smith, the famous director. This is f*cked up.

KS: But sir I would like to help you with your student loans.

D: Naw, it’s cool Kev. I got ’em taken care of. Keep up the good work though.

KS: [unintelligible]


Poor guy. He was trying so hard, but I just couldn’t deal with it. At least I didn’t pass gas into the phone as I sometimes do, or simply go off. He could at least wait until the Clerks sequel hit DVD before he resorted to such gimmicks. I mean I thought the flick was solid.

On a side note…yesterday an Indian female called about the same loan assistance. Her name was Heather Smith.