Jim Varagona

>Barney Fife Is No More…Don Knotts Dead At 81


Don Knotts photo from Entertainment Weekly

Strangely enough, I brought up Barney Fife about a week ago while posting about names for my fork and knife combo. Now Barney is no more. I just caught the news that Don Knotts died yesterday. As a kid, I watched The Andy Griffith Show because my parents watched it a lot. I also remember catching him on Three’s Company back in the day. He was a very entertaining fellow. This may be because he made famous the lovable loser and bumbling idiot types, which I probably fall into the categories of at times. He gave us a good name though.

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>Aiding Mexican Janitors

>So I was doing my duty (some say “making doody”) in the john at a Home Depot the other day. One of the Mexican janitors that work there was mopping up as I did my business.

I think it is safe to say that 98% of the janitors at the Home Depots that I’ve set foot in are Mexican and do not speak English. That isn’t a knock on them, but it does make things interesting at times.

Anyway, he was mopping along and was cleaning out the stall adjacent to mine. Then he began reaching his mop under the door and walls of my stall. He kept mopping up to my feet and around them. My belt, which was drooping onto the tiled floor, even got tangled in the mop several times. Rather than being angry, I was simply amused by this. After pushing the mop into my feet a bit, I decided to lift them to make things easier for him. He even finished my stall and came back minutes later to repeat the process. When I finished, there was a small puddle of mop water at my feet, which was dirtied by the bottoms of my filthy shoes, therefore negating any good he thought he was doing through his persistence.

I probably could have said something, but I figured it would have confused the whole situation more. This way we both accomplished what we were setting out to do. And what a fine job he did.

Bien, bien.


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