Jim Varagona

Why must my bitch hump me like a boy?

sadiehumpjim

I have a female boxer puppy at home named Sadie. She has a thing for humping my fiance and me, but has taken a real liking to my leg as of late. I thought only male dogs would hump like that, since it is their sexual position. How does a female learn such things and why do they even want to do that?

First off I should say that some have asked why I allow her to do it. I don’t let her continuously do it, but for a moment it is hell-arious. For instance, yesterday she humped my leg and I allowed three thrusts. Why? With each one she farted loudly, and that is the best laugh I had all week.

So I asked Jeeves about this, and he lead me to some answers. The best site, Vetinfo.com, said this:

Spaying a female dog will sometimes result in an increase in testosterone influence, if they produce androgenic (testosterone-like) hormones at higher levels than most females and then the suppressing effect of estrogen is removed due to spaying. This can cause an increase in aggressive or dominance behaviors and that can mean that mounting (humping) behaviors will occur.

That all makes perfect sense, because she was spayed a month or two ago, and happens to be very dominant over other dogs, and she’s very non-discriminant about it as long as the other dog isn’t toering over her.

The article also said this though:

Whether or not you should be concerned is hard to say. This is actually relatively normal behavior unless it does get so prevalent that you have to consider an obsessive/compulsive or anxiety based cause. In those cases, there are medications that can help, such as fluoxetine (Prozac Rx) or clomipramine (Clomicalm Rx).

Whoah…give my dog Prozac…share my precious prescription. That’s crazy talk. Or is my dog crazy? Or is my leg just really attractive?

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Play “Find the sexual predators near you”!

As kind of a follow up to my pedophile priest posting (how is that for alliteration?), I saw this site on the news recently–Map Sex Offenders. You can type in your address and find all of the sex offenders near your home, nicely mapped out. The map is even available as a satelitte image, which is scary enough by itself. One must take into account though that there is the off chance that the offender could be considered that simply for urinating outdoors, and what guy hasn’t done that?! That is a very slight possibility though, so I say plot out the predators around you, get a mob together with some torches, and surround their houses.

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I am only kidding, but the site is still interesting and worth checking out.

R.I.P. Cody “Eda” Mulligan 6/7/1997-8/24/2005

shannoncody
My fiance’s dog, Cody, passed away earlier today. My sympathies to the family. And he was a definite member of the family. He put up with being blind very well for the past year, and he was the happiest dog I’ve ever met. Rest in peace little buddy.

copyright MMV-MMVII Jim Varagona and Diabetoboy Productions.

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